im really sad....but i shouldnt be, i could cry if i would let myself
had a fun day, went to school which went fast ( always a good thing )
after school tony & I went to clearfork...took a hike in the woods, climbed some downed trees, made-out, a beautiful autumn afternoon
then i went hime ( skipped lifting for swimming ) mir & judy came over and we got pumped for the big game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then there was the POWDER PUFF GAME!@! great job gals!! totally a blast even thou the seniors & sophmores got wooped, ohhh well....after is when shit hit the fan. I was strangely dissapointed by my mom & boyfriend........ so my sis took me home, i was frustrated and sad
watched the last 15 of the OC ( no clue what was goin on..)
went outside for 1/2 hr to run off some frustrations but now Im just depressed...ben that way a lot lately, i cant wait till tomorrow..SWIMMING ( my survival ) without it I'd be one depressed girl during the winter. Ive finally realized Im going to miss it soo much... i want it to start to help me get out of this rut but i dont want it to pass by too quickly..............
i guess i just have a whole lot of things going through my head....im sorry for being such a downer..but if you know me - ill have a smile on my face next time you see me.
dont really want to talk to anyone...i hate distancing myself from others , god i feel like thats all I've been doing lately, I'm sorry....don't give up on me
well I guess I'm going...goodnight...
love, plain old Bethanie | 
but im feeling better, didnt go to school yesterday just sleep all day...lost 5 lbs in a day & a half....def not healthy 
SO pretty much i feel pretty weak and tired...but i think im gunna go to school in a lil bit cuz i cant be out of the pool this much!! i have my first meet fri night and its gunna kill me to be out of the pool for a day so im gunna go tonight cuz i dont wanna be out for two days..its prolyl gunna kill me thou ( i get winded walking up the two flights of stairs in my house so pretty much im screwed)
